The lyrics
Verse 1He moved to town in twenty-twenty-three
Seventy meetings came and went, as quiet as can be
The sign, the road, the charter, the pier…
Never once said a word at the microphone, my dear
ChorusOh, it died (died) for lack of a second
Not one hand went up that night
For a backup seat on a little ol’ board
His own friends wouldn’t fight
They wouldn’t second him for alternate…
(and they were sittin’ right there)
So why on earth should we second him
For the Commission chair?Verse 2The Mayor was sittin’ at the dais
And Theo was sittin’ there too
The motion hung there in the air
Like a sad ol’ boot with no shoe
Ten months later they’re on his mailer
Smilin’ “Trust him, he’s our guy”
Well, you had your chance in December, boys
And you let that motion die (let it die)
ChorusOh, it died (died) for lack of a second
Not one hand went up that night
For a backup seat on a little ol’ board
His own friends wouldn’t fight
They wouldn’t second him for alternate…
(and they were sittin’ right there)
So why on earth should we second him
For the Commission chair?Verse 3He’s got donors on the Galt Ocean Mile
And one up in North Palm Beach
Donors from our little town?
Zero, honey. Out of reach.
He says he built his life right here
Wrote “Fort Lauderdale” on his own form
Seven months in town back then, my friend
Hometown hero, born…
BridgeNow, Patrick Ferguson…
When the sign came up, he stood at that microphone.
When the road came up, he stood there again.
Both nights. You can read it in the minutes.
That’s a man who answers when the town calls…
Final chorusSo it died (died) for lack of a second
And I know just what to do
On November third in Seat Two
I’m secondin’ Patrick, too!
They wouldn’t second him for alternate…
(not even for the backup chair)
So I’m seconding Patrick Ferguson
’Cause Patrick was there!OutroJustin who…? (ooh)
Justin who…? (ooh-ooh)
Motion fails.
Every line, on the record
- The motion: December 9, 2025. Commissioner DeNapoli moved to appoint him as an alternate on the Planning and Zoning Board. Mayor Malkoon and Commissioner Poulopoulos were present. The minutes: “The motion died for lack of second.”
- The microphone: more than 70 Commission meetings since he moved here in 2023, and the minutes, which name every resident who speaks, never name him. Patrick Ferguson spoke on September 10, 2025 and March 10, 2026.
- “Seven months”: his own April 2024 board application: a resident for 7 months, business address in Fort Lauderdale.
- The donors: his campaign reports through October 2, 2026: two households on Galt Ocean Drive in Fort Lauderdale and one in North Palm Beach. Donors from our town: 0.
All of it, with links: the Seat 2 email.
♫ Hear all the songs: the LBTS playlist
November 3 · Mayor: Randy Strauss · Seat 1: Howard Goldberg · Seat 2: Patrick Ferguson · NO on all 8 charter changes
Satire and opinion set to music, from Let’s Protect Our Paradise. Label photo: the beach gate, Julie Corsi, CC BY 2.0.
Paid political advertisement paid for by Kelly-Kate Pease, 5555 N. Ocean Blvd, Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, FL 33308, independently of any candidate or committee. No candidate approved this advertisement.